i wanna be sedated

Please accept my apology, but it’s a little hard for me to feel sympathetic because you can’t “afford” a new dishwasher when you’ve just purchased a million-dollar home. Not only did you purchase a home for a million dollars, but you immediately gutted the million-dollar home floor to ceiling and are now spending at least fifty grand remodeling it. I can’t feel your pain when you cry that the old tile on the outside patio with the ocean view won’t match your brand spanking new Italian porcelain tile that you are putting inside. Or that the old countertop on the bar outside won’t match your new marble countertops in the kitchen.

I’m sorry. I needed to vent. That’s what happens when I spend three hours with someone who has nothing else to talk about except her brand new house and how hard it is to be her.

But it’s all relative, right? Your view gets skewed after being so comfortable for so long. My sister and her husband cannot even begin to fathom why we don’t move to California. It’s the answer to all our problems! We should sell our place in Seattle and buy a one-bedroom ground-floor condo in the hood; that sounds fabulous! Then we’d be super cool and we could talk about how outrageous housing prices are (even though we just contributed to the problem), how expensive gas is (as we’re filling up our Hummer for the third time this week), how bad traffic and smog is (talking on our cell phones to each other in our oversized SUVs), and how there’s not enough water (ummm… it’s a desert, people!)…

Again, sorry. Venting. I can’t wait to go home.