there's no off position on the genius switch

I remember sitting on the beach in southern California watching the lightning storms roll over the ocean. Or cowering under a tarp in the Sierras waiting for the storm to pass so we could walk the quarter mile to the general store to get fritos and bean dip; hearing the thunder get louder and louder before a huge lightning bolt cracks right on top of the rocks we were scrambling over the day before. Or sitting in my Phoenix hotel room cuddled up in bed watching lighting strike over the desert three to four times a minute.

They said on the radio this morning that we’ll be getting thunder and lightning today. I love lightning storms, so I used to get all excited and stare out the window waiting for it. But I’ve come to realize that the thunder and lightning here is nothing like the thunder and lightning in California. Thunder and lightning up here don’t really exist. They always say it will, but it never does. I think maybe today all the residents of the Puget Sound region should stand outside with giant steel rods. Or maybe we should all go fly a metal kite. I want some lightning!

I was a little worried yesterday that I would have nothing to blog about this week. But now I’ve realized that I have nothing to worry about! As evidenced by my last post, I can tell funny stories about things that have happened before! You guys haven’t heard them before! Hey, I could even make some things up! Here goes:

Once, my roommate and I streaked naked in front of the dorms in the rain!

I once went on a horrible blind date and I ended up having to tell the guy I was moving to Wenatchee so he would stop calling me!

I went to Hawaii and stayed at a gay bed and breakfast – on my honeymoon!

I hitchhiked to Fresno, and survived to tell the tale!

Oh wait, all those things really happened. And unlike the first three (which others may have done in various forms), I am absolutely positive that Griz, Mitch, and I are the only three people in existence that have ever hitchhiked to Fresno. Never again will a sign be written “Fresno or Bust.” People want to get out of Fresno, not into Fresno. Crazy kids.

*Update: this post was orginally posted yesterday, but for some reason it got deleted. I did see one lightning flash yesterday evening, and I did hear thunder rolling in the distance. Still nothing like desert thunderstorms.