truth doesn't make a noise

Walking around with my arm in a sling attracts all sorts of people asking questions. The actual description of my injury is pretty long-winded and not very exciting. The fact that the injury occurred a couple years ago coupled with the fact that I'm not even completely sure that falling off the bouldering wall at the climbing gym was how I hurt it makes it hard to describe in the small amount of time I really want to be interacting with these people. And often it ends up with someone suggesting that I sue the climbing gym and then I have to get into a discussion about how people need to take responsibility for their own actions. And that I don't want to sue the climbing gym because it's hard enough for them to make money and I don't want them to have to suffer financially because really, it was me who fell off the wall – no one pushed me.

So I need a new story.

I was making a summit attempt on K2 when my climbing partner fell down a crevasse. While self-arresting in order to save both of our lives, I dislocated my shoulder.

(To be said in an outrageous Australian accent) I was attacked by a giant salty!

I was spelunking in the caves of Madagascar and I spied a new amphibian species. Crawling down to get a closer look revealed that they were not very friendly and I was promptly attacked by its entire pod. They latched onto my arm with jaws of steel, and I was unable to pry them off. It took two days to hike out to a hospital. Turns out these little buggers have some rare venom. It's really a miracle of modern science that I got to keep my arm.