Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Ohhhh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

I'll admit it. I watched Oprah last night. B is on the road and I got bored. And we have no cable. I need to buy another circular before I can continue with the sweater. So I ended up on the couch with some rosemary bread and Oprah. Did I mention we have no cable? Yup. 7 channels.

Which leads me to the point of this post. There was a guy on there called the "
dog whisperer." He claims to be the celebrity dog trainer. He talked to O about her dog (a snappy little cocker spaniel) and got it to be social with other dogs, where before it had shown extrememly agressive behaviors. He explained how the dog social structure is different than the human social structure, and that babying your dog often ends up with you in the submissive role, in addition to you unknowingly praising bad behavior. You need to be the dominant leader of the pack, and your dog will willingly fit into his role. Blah blah blah. Everything he said can be found online or even in the Dog Training For Dummies book.

So I got to thinking... Hey, I know all that! I could be a celebrity dog trainer! How hard can it be? How did he get to that point where he's makin big bucks and other dog trainers aren't? Hmmm... All I need to do is become a slightly effeminate male with an unidentifiable accent and wiggle my butt around a bit. I need to kiss ass all the time and make ridiculously rich people believe that their snappy chihuahua is the cutest, most important, and nicest dog on the planet. And he really does deserve that $40 steak for dinner. And it's okay to bring him in to the restaurant with you, because hey, you're rich!


Okay so maybe I don't want to be a celebrity dog trainer. Oh well. Back to geology.

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