Friday, June 13, 2008

B: I am a rotten Mr. Grinch....

or Why I hate "Days" (mothers, fathers, administrative support personnel)

I hate fathers day. All of these Hallmark holidays should be abolished or at least abstained from by reasonable people. When did we turn the calendar over to women who want to have a special activity once a month that centers around making somebody feel special? I know it's sexist, but I can't imagine that a man came up with Fathers Day.

The major reason I don't like fathers day now that I am a father, is that it is patently clear that Fathers Day isn't really about fathers at all. It is about kids school projects and selling greeting cards, and making people that aren't really grateful express feelings they don't mean, or making people that are grateful express their thanks in a really lame over hyped day wrought with expectation and disappointment.

If Fathers Day was really about fathers, it would be called Leave me the fuck alone day. There would be no LMTFAD cards, tradition would require a simple gift of a sixer or bottle of Dad's favorite booze, or cigs or cigar or bicycle part or BJ and then that he be left the fuck alone for at least part of the day. That is all any man really wants, a simple pleasure and some time to himself. I don't need your coerced guilt or a hallmark expression of your appreciation. It is nice, but entirely uneeded.

So...If it is not too late, let me suggest that when you think about giving Dad something for fathers day, give him the gift he really wants....a new router bit and some time to use it, or free day to go riding at northstar with nobody waiting around at home (thanks Mandy!!!). It will mean so much more than dragging Dad out for some event that is about everybody else feeling good about doing something for Dad and achieves nothing in consideration of what Dad really wants.....to be left the fuck alone.

PS If you want to see the origins of Fathers day in the US please read the wiki entry for proof that I am not a complete sexist pig. Also, if you want an idea for a fathers day present that dad actually wants look at the the german fathers day. A wagon trip with a cask of beer??? Yes please.

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