Friday, November 11, 2005

M: derailed.

This whole thing with the monorail just cracks me up. It just goes to show that if you question people long enough, they'll eventually cave and change their minds. For those of you not in the Seattle area, I've put together a quick timeline for your enjoyment.

1997.
City of Seattle: So guys, how about a monorail?
People of Seattle: Sounds pretty good. Tell me more.
City: Well, we'll start the Elevated Transportation Company. It'll be 40 miles and it'll be built and operated without any taxpayer money.
People: Yay! Monorail! Build it!

2000.
City: Ummm... Sorry guys. We didn't really want the monorail anyway, and ETC ran out of money. So much for the monorail.
People: No! We want a monorail! Here's some money. We said build it!

2002.
City: Really? You really want a monorail? What about Sound Transit?
People: We said we want a monorail! Here's some more money. Build it!

2003.
City: Ummm... Sorry again. We didn't get enough money with the taxes. No monorail.

2004.
People: Please? Can't we have a monorail?
City: Okay. But it'll only be 14 miles, and we'll make the columns wider, and we have to take out some traffic lanes. And oh yeah, it'll go right through the Seattle Center, above the International Fountain. Still want your precious monorail?
People: Yes?

2005.
City: We had to cut a few stations here and there, and reduce the number of trains, and it's going to cost over 2 billion dollars. Still want it?
People: Maybe... Wait - yes! Yes, we still want our monorail.
City: Too bad. We're pulling our support. Good luck getting your stinkin monorail!
People: Hey... Wait a minute. Didn't we approve a monorail?
City: No, I don't think that ever happened. Monorails suck. Your mom rides the monorail.
People: Your mom rides the monorail!

And with that, our monorail is dead. Funny how that works, eh?

2 comments:

SMB said...

What do we want? Monorail! When do we want it? Now! Where's Phil Hartman when we need him? Oh yeah, he's dead.

susan said...

wow, that sums it up so perfectly. :-)