Tuesday, August 26, 2008

B: Some of these are lies...maybe

Some observations...

  • Some babies and kids look stupid. Hopefully they won't look stupid when they are older, but they do now. That is sad but true. Fortunately my baby isn't one of them.

  • I do not want to hear about your dream, ever. The only people that I will humor with actually listening to dream stories are people that live in my house that are taller than me that are notorious for not wearing pants at momentous times. It is a short list.

  • If you are a woman that waited to start trying for kids until you are over 35 and are having troubles, I am not very sorry for you. You made an educated choice.

  • I sometimes feel at work that excuses are made for stupid people to explain why they aren't good at what they do and why that is okay.

  • I know more attractive, intelligent, well employed single women than I know single men (decent or otherwise). Where the fuck are all of the single dudes hanging out?

  • I sometimes wish I was Mormon (see above bullet).

  • I don't think I ever really enjoyed backpacking. I think I liked the romance of the idea, but I can't really remember ever actually having fun on anything but a quick over nite trip. Let's carry heavy shit while we walk slow, eat barely passable food, sleep in the least comfortable way possible, and get bit continuously by huge mosquitoes that you end up eating. YAY!

  • When I see the same homeless person day after day on the street with their sign I sometimes judge their clothes. Do they really look homeless? What if they are just lazy junkies or maybe even a millionaire in disguise waiting to reward do gooders!

  • I never had an invisible friend, I don't believe in magic, and I am not willing to consider anything whose proof seems to lie in it's lack of evidence for existence, or some perceived conspiracy to cover it up. Therefore, I am not interested in: big foot, religions/cults, mysterious lake creatures that alude detection, astrology, earthquake weather, super powers, crystals, ghosts, alien abductions, or dietary claims that reflect upon anything other than common sense.

  • If you brag about consistently winning more than you lose at the Casino, then you are either an idiot or a statistical anomaly. My default assumption is idiot.

  • I need a......

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